Befriending the Ego in the Battle for Supremacy


Cheri Douglas King wrote: The ego is an unrelenting beast that I battle daily. Quiet focus of mind and spirit is the sword I wield, to pierce and deflate my nemesis. Each day is a new battle I must face whether I am strong or weary. My mantra….pull up your boot straps and keep marching sista!



Pheonyx Roldan Smith wrote:  LOL, I hear ya’, Cheri… its hard until it’s not.  One of the things I tell people, the most effective way to disarm your enemy is not to fight them but rather to embrace them. I mean, literally! It’s hard for someone to fight and take swings at you when you are hugging them. =)~ Same is true when battling our ego. But instead, call a truce and call your ego to the table. Have a kind and loving conversation with it. Acknowledge the many thoughts baced on fear and lack that it has, and ask it to meet you half way. Trust the Higher part of yourself and inform your ego-based self that there are some things that it need not fight with you on.

In many ways, the ego is like an 8 year old child. Sometimes you need to speak to it in a loving and compassionate way when it throws a tantrum and feeling like it’s not getting its own way. Or when it’s fighting you in an area that your Higher Self knows best. The journey of this life is not about overcoming you ego, or even destroying it, per se. The journey in this new paradigm is to learn from it, and allow it to learn from the other parts of you.  Not to kill, destroy or even live a lifetime literally fighting with the ego for control and creation of the experiences of your very life.  Rather take the time and increase your own ability to EVOLVE IT (and thusly evolve with it) into a place of higher serving, understanding and personal enjoyment. Don’t forget, that 8 year old child likes to play and have fun too!

But it’s time for our ego’s to grow up. To learn to trust again. And to realize that though there are many practical, inherent dangers in the Life, we need not carry the energy of that fear and resistance into our daily experience. That it’s okay to literally let go of the reigns and move into the Universal flow of things. And that the ego’s origin and frame of reference is in the Life, but the origin of our Higher Self has come and gone in and out of life so many times, and there JUST might be something it knows a bit more in terms of navigating us towards are greater and higher good.

You CAN do it!  Open up to the greater flow and let go of any resistance to it. Learn to LAUGH in the face of your ego’s fears which trigger so much of the fight or flight mode of survival. But when we take a moment to self-realize and accept what is, take a breath, avoid automatic reaction and raise our awareness to the very real and possible choices we have in any given situation/conflict/question/opportunity for growth and/or practice, then we move into a place of working WITH what IS instead of battling with the ego against it.

Remember… in Life you ALWAYS have a choice. It may not seem like it at first, but I promise you that you do. We just have to be willing to look at the full gammit of options (aka: infinite possibilites) and the potential rewards and consequences of such choices, whether it’s eating that extra piece of cake or quitting a job or ending a relationship which no longer serves, and/or following your dreams and more deeply discovering your passion.

Stay strong, but set down the sword for the plow share and begin to tend to new fields of cooperative growth with your ego. That will begin to garner a new energy in your life which will draw in like-kind people, places and things into your experience.  But don’t take MY word for it!  Give it a go, and simply see it for your Self.



“Wait a Dern Minute… Who’s In Charge Here?!” by Pheonyx Roldan Smith : You can choose to rise above & beyond your given circumstances or be ruled by them… but know the Choice is completely up to you. Wittingly or unwittingly, you are the creator of your experience… (continue.)



Cheri Douglas King replied:  thank you for the thoughtful response…. You gave me a light bulb moment ( a very bright one I might add :) ) This is a new idea for me honestly, but it makes complete sense to accept and cooperate with something that ‘is’ a part of me, and will be. A more productive way to expend energy!


Pheonyx Roldan Smith replied:: AHO! Shine that light bulb big and bright, and watch your ego be completely mesmerized and amazed by it/you!  Feel free to give me a direct shout if you ever need more direct help/guidance with the process. Once you know a better way to approach the game of life, it definitely begins to more interesting! And more importantly, much more FUN! =))



Cheri Douglas King replied:  Will do!