Ask Teal – Is Seeking Your Own Happiness Selfish?

Today’s Ask Teal Episode is designed to address the fear that focusing on our own happiness feeds the ego.   It addresses the fear that we are abandoning the rest of the world especially those in need and the problems that “need to be fixed” by focusing on ourselves.

People often worry that when I say you can’t rescue someone from their own thoughts, that means don’t help people, they deserve to learn from their own creations.  This is not what I am saying at all.  What I am saying is…  no matter how much you do help people, you cannot think for them, therefore you cannot create their reality for them.  No matter how much money you give someone, even if it is a million dollars, if they still operate from a poverty mentality, they will eventually go broke again.

Another issue brought against my teachings on helping others, is the issue of ego.  Quite often, People perceive that there is nothing but ego in teachings such as mine, that encourage a person to focus only on getting themselves into alignment and happiness while withdrawing your attention from the rest of the “external world”.
This is a flawed perception in and of itself because there can be nothing separate of you.  You influence your entire reality and all people in it by changing your own vibration because your entire reality including the people in it, are a projection of your own consciousness.  You are the projector, your reality is the projector screen, there is nothing else you can do to really change and improve your reality other than change yourself.  If you want war to end, end it inside yourself.  If you want poverty to end, end it inside yourself.  If you want suffering, end it inside yourself.  You could not line up with seeing suffering in the world and feeling powerless about that suffering, unless you felt powerless about your own suffering.

What I find most amusing is that the bleeding hearts of the world are often the group most upset by the ego that we perceive in focusing on one’s own happiness.  When we are the ones most caught up in the illusion of ego.  We think focusing on ourselves means that we are cutting ourselves off in a kind of pink bubble from the rest of the world, putting blinders on to problems and abandoning the rest of the world by only being concerned with our internal experience and our own happiness. Those of us who think the world is separate from us and that other people are separate from us, spend a great deal of time trapped in the illusion of a separate self… the very definition of ego.  There can never be anything other than you in your reality.

There is nothing more important when it comes to helping other people than to improve YOUR internal condition.  Your internal condition is what is co creating and lining you up with things like people who are suffering, poverty and war.

The person you help is your internal life.   Their asking is your asking.  It is just you asking for your help.  It is just you asking for your love.  It is just you asking to be rescued from yourself.


  1. The really hard part of this is letting go of the ego feeling of being responsible for the health and happiness of those around you – especially those you love. You can provide them opportunities and encouragement to be healthy and happy, but you can’t force them to accept their own power of well-being – that must come from within each person. Even more, be aware that providing those opportunities and encouragement is something you do for yourself, in order to express the sort of person you wish to manifest in this reality, so you have not “failed” if they refuse to take advantage of what you offer.

    So recognize that everyone is where they need to be. They do not need your help, but they do provide you the chance to be helpful. Thus, if you chose to help, know that you are offering to help them as an extension of helping yourself, and thank them for the chance. Accepting help can be just as much a spiritual act as helping, just as withholding or refusing help offers lessons of its own.

    It’s all about learning who you really are,

    Best wishes and Happy New Year, Friends.

  2. I find unhappy people are way less fun to be around than happy ones, and that to some extent happiness is contagious. This which gives me the sense that I have a duty to be happy. Then, there are people who are happier when miserable, so I would not be doing them a service if I hung around them, since my happiness could compromise their chosen misery. Of course some people want more happiness than they have, and these people can be helped to find it. I’ve discovered Soul, the true self that each of us is, a part of God in fact, Soul is happy by nature. This means when we are truly happy we are in touch with our true self. Barriers to happiness there may be, but like all barriers, they can be removed if we can only figure out how. There is much that can be said, volumes written, no doubt, but the important thing to know is that happiness is the natural default state of our Higher Self, so there need never be any fear that we won’t find happiness; it’s inevitable. Then once we’ve discovered and removed all the barriers, being happy is a welcome and happy duty – to ourselves and to all life. If anyone is confused at this point or wants a hint about how to get started – love is the key. Learn all you can about love by loving. Happiness will follow since you will be pursuing your true mission on Earth!

  3. I completely agree. I find it hard however, to understand how someone goes about changing their reality. I understand that we must value and love ourselves, and see the connectedness between all things, but how does one control the way in which they align with things? That, I suppose, is what I am currently trying to understand. Any help would be appreciated :) <3 L&L

  4. Consistently your videos are some of the most profound stuff out there. I know how hard it is to discuss such topics, and you seem to do it with ease. And the topics are consistently answers to exactly what’s been on my mind recently. Thank you!

  5. “That’s the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video’s a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember… I need to remember… Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.” Thanks for sharing <3

  6. Thanks for another beautiful and helpful message. It really helped me see more of the whole picture. Namaste :D

  7. Thank you for sharing this! I feel like a message on “Victim Consciousness” would expand upon this message even further. Again thank you so much!

  8. thank you for this … this message was very helpfull … and cleard up alot of my preconcived notions about life and they way we all work and work together … so thank you again … and have a beautful day … :)