Speech is a powerful tool. The way we consciously and subconsciously choose to express ourselves, it is a clear reflection of our mentalities and emotions.
More than just a reflection though, words are a form of action and carry a similar same weight. The mind frequently projects images or spins a thought into a realm we are not comfortable with. The mind is like a child, it grasps at things it knows it shouldn’t grab. This ‘grabbing’ action doesn’t inherently mean that the ‘child’ wants the object it reached for. There are many reasons our mind do this, but for the most part it is exercising its ability to do so.
This act of doing something to do it translates to our speech as well. Uncensored, our mouths can run up a storm. Words carry a different strength and influence than thoughts. There is a more quantifiable element to the immediate effect of words. Speech is an intangible form of action that stem from thought. As soon as you turn a thought or intention into an action, it leaves your realm of influence and becomes a separate entity. A cruel word can not be stifled or taken back. More actions must be taken to heal the damage.
We frequently use the cruelest of language on ourselves. Our minds are always chatting away, damning this and criticizing that. We sometimes foolishly vent these thoughts, normally in a joking manner.
The sarcastic shine to a ill hearted phrase does nothing to deter the damage. If anything it poisons those who hear it, tricking them into thinking it doesn’t hurt.
Below are listed some common phrases used to create a negative separate entity. In the interest of ‘blowing off steam’ or a weird sort of half hearted self forgiveness, we utter these phrases. They become actions that hurt us and slow us down.
“I’m So Stupid.”
There are so many definitions and types of intelligence. There is also the difference between wisdom and intelligence. Even if you’re being a little thick right now, have the wisdom to not belittle yourself. This phrase can be exchanged for, ‘I could have done better’.
“I Can’t Do That.”
This statement always precedes a conversation about technique and support, then after practice and effort the impossible is done. Decide what you want to do according to your priorities and do it.
Do not say that something is important to you and then mark it down with technical difficulties.
You jeopardize the sanctity of your priorities when you do this. This statement is interchangeable with; ‘This will be difficult’, or ‘I will need help with this’.
“I Hate Myself.”
‘Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish. If you are not capable of generating that kind of energy toward yourself- if you are not capable of taking care of yourself, of nourishing yourself, of protecting yourself- it is very difficult to take care of another person. In the Buddhist teaching, it’s clear that to love oneself is the foundation of the love of other people.’ Thich Nhat Hanh
This phrase should be replaced with: ‘I can do better’, ‘I will do better’, ‘It’s hard for me to be honest with myself right now.’
This statement comes in many forms; I’m fat, my hair is hideous, my eyes are too close together, my nose has two holes.
They are all ridiculous. Beauty comes from inside, it spins out from a healthy spirit. Fashion is the nonsense that says people are this and that. Be beautiful and love yourself. This phrase can be replaced with: ‘I’m awesome!’,’My core is so strong!’, I am beautiful!’
“I Hate My Life.”
Don’t let the momentary madness in your skull or the storm in your heart ever exit your lips in this form. If you are upset with your life that means you care and are beyond frustrated. Voice your frustration and emotions but don’t ever lash out at the unique story that is your life. This phrase should never be spoken, replace it entirely with: ‘I’m upset’, ‘I am in need of help’, or ‘I want a hug’.