In an era where time is money, and people find it highly difficult to actually interact, we see a very big group that tries their luck to find love online. Dating sites and applications have never been so popular as they are today.
But are emoticons really the same as a flirtatious look?
It is known that there are quite a lot of success love stories that started online. According to the American dating statistics 17% of the marriages that took place last year, were couples who met through the internet!
But when you think about it, now you miss the whole thrill of the game. Love at first sight. That magical connection when you realize you just met your soul mate or maybe even your twin flame. That walk in the park you will never forget or maybe that tipsy night at your favourite bar.
In other words online dating, starts by looking at a screen, it is just different meeting face to face.
Let’s have a look at the science behind flirting, what are we missing when we decide to look for love on the internet.
Flirting, also known as a human mating ritual, has been a phenomena since the beginning of humankind. It is a basic instinct; it is part of human nature. It takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes for a person to realize you are flirting with them. We are mentally programmed to indicate that we are interested before we even have to say it.
It is with small signs that we show our interest. Take for instance our posture, leaning a bit forward. Our eye movement, like raising our eyebrows. Body language is with 55% the main indicator. Followed by the tone of our voice which is 38% and 7% covers what we actually say.
Those hints of showing a person of interest that things could get potentially physical are called contact engagement.
It all start with eye contact. The moment you catch someone’s attention, you lock eyes. When we see a person we are interested in we tend to blink more and our pupils slightly dilate. Just be cautious, when you start to stare, the other person might become uncomfortable. The eyes tell our inner feelings, they express emotion beyond words.
The interpersonal distance we keep before approaching someone is highly important, since it gives the person of interest an impression of you. About 4 ft. or 1,2 m. should be the distance you make eye contact again before really approaching. This distance is right in between the “social zone” and personal space.
Men and women both flirt, it is a way to inform the opposite sex (or the same sex) that you feel some sort of connection to them. It might be emotional, mental or just physical.
They do tend to flirt in different ways though, women tend to flick their hair, stick out and lick their lips and angle their bodies in such ways their pelvis shows. This instinct is actually interesting in where it stems from; it is an unconscious action letting you know they are suitable to carry a child.
Men have more chance when they show social dominance, interacting in a fun way with their male friends, while making eye contact and smiling at the person of interest. Another sign of dominance is that they tend to make themselves bigger and start making gestures like handing out drinks. It actually resembles the behavior baboon’s show hilariously enough, according to psychology today.
Men tend to prefer a more direct way of flirting from women, which shows their intentions straight away. Many women appreciate a more subtle approach, but everyone is different!
Once the person is approached, it shows that touching is the most successful way of flirting. Take in mind, this does not mean grabbing and you must be able to read the energy properly. A subtle touch on the hand or arm can do wonders, only when it’s appropriate. You shouldn’t need someone to look at you and say ‘go away’ for you to see that you’re unwanted. Be extremely sensitive to those around you, especially as a male.
Some people only flirt for an ego-boosting kick, finding out if the other person finds them attractive.
Even though science cannot write down a foolproof plan of how to flirt without failure, flirting would not be such a universal thing if it was not the start of so many romances.
Flirting, naturally, helps the rate of success to reproduce ourselves. Fundamentally, it is part of our mating ritual.
How interesting is that?