What is an Empath? Why do they always find themselves in the position of caregiver and sometimes even the pushover? Being the healer, they tend to be attracted to those who are broken or negative. They are absorbers of other’s struggles, the fixers and generally unaware of one’s boundaries. They are strongly drawn to narcissists as they feel the need to “fix” them.
What is a Narcissist? The takers of the relationship scale, very capable of sucking energy out of their surrounding acquaintances and family members, they spot an empath a mile away. Knowing empaths to give their all, they play this to their advantage to feed their own energy reserves.
Empaths will often see the world as others’ suffering, trying to rationalize every incident. They are the strong yet also the weak as they assume everyone is as sincere as them.
Narcissists feel nothing in manipulating an empath, rising above others to gain control. Whereas an empath craves love, care and understanding. Sadly, this combination will always end up in heartache as the more love and care an empath offers, the more powerful and in control a narcissist will become.
“We know that “narcissist” has become a bit of a buzzword recently, and some folks are quick to apply it to an ex-lover or family member or friend. While awareness of this concept is healthy, so is remembering that it is, in a mental health context, a serious condition that shouldn’t be applied to someone you’re mad at because they stole your mirror.” ~ Eds.
As a narcissist gains power, the empath starts to retreat. This undoubtedly shoves an empath into a victim’s position. One way out id to then become the narcissist. Before long, a vicious cycle has formed.
Quite often they end up blaming themselves which only fuels a narcissist even further. Being extremely charismatic and manipulative and having a powerful way of turning everything away from themselves, narcissists are ingenious at mirroring these things onto others.
By now, knowing they’re in trouble, empaths need to wake up and realize they have a choice. They can choose to stay or to get out.
“In an empath’s eyes, all they searched and looked for was someone to take care of and love and to ultimately fix. That is where the trouble began and that is the most profound part of this that an empath must realize. We are not here to fix anyone. We cannot fix anyone. Everyone is responsible for and capable of fixing themselves, but only if they so choose to.”
The chances of a narcissist changing are highly unlikely. They are in their comfort zone, they feed off of the negativity. If they do however decide to find a new path, it should never be at the expense of someone else. Usually completely unaware of their behavior, they fail to see the problems and live in denial. They thrive on gain after all.
An empath is authentic and is desperate to live true to their soul’s purpose and will very likely find the whole relationship a huge lesson, a dodged bullet and painfully awakening whereas the narcissist will usually move on rather fast realizing there’s nothing left to feed from.
The ability for these two types to bond is quite simply impossible. The narcissist’s heart is closed, an empath’s is open—it is nothing short of a recipe for a huge disaster, and not a beautiful one at that.
Thanks to Elephant Journal for this lovely summary.