In this episode of Ask Teal, Teal explains: How to help someone overcome an addiction.
Addiction is not about the substance or activity… It is about what the substance or activity covers up. It is about the pain that the substance or activity is giving a person relief from. Ultimately for anyone to heal from an addiction, what needs to be healed are the wounds and fears that an addict is running away from by using a substance or activity.
Teal explains that the single best thing you can do for someone who is addicted is to reflect to them who they really are. Hold in your mind that despite what they are doing and how they are behaving, you know who they really are. Trust them to be able to heal themselves. Love them regardless of what they choose to do or not do with their own lives…Unconditionally. Look at the solution instead of the problem.
When it first becomes clear that someone we love is addicted to something, our first impulse is to want to intervene and try to SAVE that person, but the truth is that no one can save an addict except for the addict themselves. Helping someone with an addiction means walking a very clear line between enabling a solution instead of enabling OR resisting the problem. Teal goes on to say that if you are dealing with a loved one who is addicted, you must prioritize your own health and alignment. You can not help anyone from a place of lack. You can not help anyone into a space of health if you, yourself are not healthy. You can not help anyone find alignment if you are not in alignment yourself. It is a good idea to confront an addict about the addiction, but you must do so from a space of open, caring compassion and NOT from a space of criticizing, blaming or humiliation. Wait for them to come to you for help. Wait until THEY initiate finding help to lend help. First part of loving an addict is about Not enabling their destructive behavior (this is not the same as resisting it or pushing against it) the second part is about waiting until they initiate help for what is destroying them. People with addictions will not change until there is some consequence to their behavior. Don’t try too hard to protect the addicted person from the consequences of their own actions.
You are not fighting a loosing battle because when you choose to focus at someone even in their wickedness with an attitude of seeing who they really are and what they are capable of, you are weighting the scale on the side of their true self, which is much more expansive than the side of their temporary self in it’s aspect of disconnectedness. Align yourself with the solution WITHOUT resisting the problem.