What do we see when we look around at how people are taught to deal with breakups? They completely cut out contact (forever in some cases), they try to force themselves to not feel sad or depressed by drinking or partying, they feel next to no self-worth for a while, and they have a permanent scar inside them from the memory of being hurt or betrayed by that person. Some people spend years, even decades together and expect to heal themselves using the conventional breakup model that has been fed to them by pop culture and society.
We force ourselves to move on without fully understanding what happened, and then we feel a weird dissonance inside of us for a long period after that because there was absolutely no clarity or transparency with what happened. Let me propose a much better model that I have been using for my current breakup:
1) Be close to one another
When you are with someone, you become a part of them. When you break up with them, act as though you are still a part of them. In an energetic sense, they really are still a part of you. If it is necessary to do so, be there for each other, support each other, lend a listening ear, and give each other permission to fully communicate how you feel at every level.
Just because you aren’t in a relationship anymore shouldn’t make you enemies, no matter how awful the other person was to you or how badly they hurt you.
Your parents and friends will tell you “you need to stop communicating with them”, or “you need to just move on and forget about everything”, but deep down you want to support them with their heartbreak and you want them to support you with your heartbreak. Continue reading
Throughout his work, you are opened up to the patterns. Once you see the pattern you begin to understand where you are in existence.
