Have you ever been told that you should try putting yourself in another person’s shoes? Few of us fully understand that phrase because few of us understand what empathy really means.

Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions and perspectives or views of another person.  Empathy is about understanding and feeling what someone else is feeling without holding to it… It teaches us to respond instead of react. Empathy gives us security in feeling. It creates a bond between people and allows connection on a heart level.

Sometimes we are so unknowingly self-absorbed that we often forget that we are just like our family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances – meaning they all feel too.

I was once oblivious to someone’s feelings, and my incapability to grasp it caused a rift between us that only I could mend, once I understood empathy. I then met someone who lived in South Africa and she told me she used to visit the beach every day and always watched the beach vendors – she used to wonder where they come from, and what their story was.

So she began to ask. She went on to tell me how she noticed some of the eyes of the story tellers would light up when she assured them she wanted to know and was genuinely interested. It was then that she learned what empathy was. She heard heart breaking stories and she has shed tears with her fellow human.

She told me it was her curiosities that lead her to understand empathy and that it has changed her view on the world and people. She also said, “That if you ever want to try and cultivate empathy, you must listen with an open heart and without the intention of replying or reacting.”

I thought about one of the stories she had told me about one of the vendors and when I closed my eyes, I, for the first time, tried to imagine what he felt on his journey to from northern Africa to southern Africa. Continue reading →

As human beings, we naturally find it easier to just give up. This could also lead us to settling instead of seeking. We settle for being sad, instead of seeking happiness, we settle for expectations instead of seeking change. This can all happen in a matter of seconds, we see the door closing, but it’s just too far from our reach to grab, so we stop, left in a state of lingo, our self-esteem slowly moving further and further from our grasp.

What is the cause of this easy way out? Why do we just stop?  People tend to make us  feel like we deserve nothing more than what they have to offer.  This could also be their personality rubbing off on us. They may be less than inspired, demotivated or low achievers themselves.

Never settle for anything less than what you deserve. We’re constantly told that we need to be realistic in our expectations, but in reality is that not just an excuse?

Love cannot be counted, love is something you feel and it should overflow in abundance. The smile you’re greeted with when you wake up, the random hugs, the feeling that you’re truly safe, that’s love.

We are concrete human beings and love is abstract. That’s why we need an abundant supply of it, it soothes our souls and softens our hearts.

The need for love is not greedy, it’s never clingy or needy. We should never be expected to beg for it, we should rather turn around and fight for it. Fight with your powerful self-esteem, fight with your confidence in love, never stop fighting. Stop bowing down, get up and fight back.

Express your feelings, after all, that’s where love comes from and where it can be felt. You need no words, your gestures can signal your love and the need for it like the constellations above us. You deserve every ounce of it, not just because we’re told that’s what relationships are about, but because you deserve it.

Why settle for an ordinary lover when you could have an extraordinary one?

Knowing how great love truly feels should be enough motivation for you to realize how special love can be and when someone wants you in their life, they will do everything possible to show you how much love means.

Keep your eyes open, confront what is keeping you back and take yourself on, be it in the mirror, look at you, you beautiful creation. Your artistic make up is what makes you special, and it will never leave you.

Kisses, hugs, smiles and laughter, aren’t they energizing?

H/T RelRules

We all know the song ‘Sexual Healing’ by Marvin Gaye. But could sex really be something that heals? As with everything, it depends on the circumstances and the way it’s being used.

Sex is a big thing in everyone’s lives, regardless of most people’s uneasiness about discussing it. And yes, a lot of the time sex (particularly rape and other types of sexual abuse) does indeed do some serious damage to a person’s life. It’s not an easy subject to discuss, let alone open your mind enough to try after you’ve had a serious trauma, but you should know that Sexual Healing IS indeed a thing that has helped many people.

Depression, stress, and headaches are the most common ailments swayed by sexual intercourse. When it comes to healing the mind, things can get a lot more complicated. Although, it has been shown that mental and physical ailments are often linked.

While healing, Intimacy can often be challenging and uncomfortable for some people, especially after experiencing a trauma. But it is also highly important for the sake of building relationships.

The following research may at least encourage some of you to overlook current pain for the possibility of pleasure.

We now know from scientific research that sex unleashes a smorgasbord of chemical compounds into the brain, most notably oxytocin, otherwise known as the love or ‘cuddle’ hormone. Studies have shown that oxytocin levels in women elevate during childbirth and breastfeeding. Even fathers experience an elevation of this hormone when they bond with their partners and babies.

The more we experience sensual touch, the more our oxytocin levels rise. This peaks during an orgasm. This is also the reason whymost men experience intense fatigue after sexual intercourse and most women want to cuddle and spoon. Besides an increase in bonding and emotional connection, oxytocin, especially after an orgasm, releases the body from stress, increases calmness, improves a person’s well-being and reduces pain. Continue reading →

Every morning, I get up, make coffee and sit down to write. Essentially, I find myself regularly burning incense while I am in my deepest of concentration. The spicy, yet sweet scent of Nag Champa slowly drifting through the house is absolutely inspiring.

The burning of incense is peaceful, can lift the spirit and bring back the fondest of memories, it helps me to settle into my yoga ritual, cleans my mind from all negativity and leaves the home feeling warm and smelling beautiful.

Here are 12 fun ways to incorporate incense into your life:

Always choose quality, genuine incense, no need to breathe in toxic fumes while trying to be one with yourself.

2. Meditation

 As incense naturally soothes your nerves, you may find it eases your process into deep meditation.

3. To simply unwind

Life should be about feeling great, connecting with oneself and finding the sacredness in this rushed world we live in.

4. Emotional release

Each essential oil used in the production of incense possesses it’s own unique qualities. Find the right one that instills tranquility and calm for those moments when you feel truly frazzled. Continue reading →

We are having a power annular Solar Eclipse in Virgo on September 1st, days after Mercury went retrograde in the same sign. It will be visible in its totality from Central Africa and partially in Southern Africa. The peak will occur at 9:03am Universal Time but will begin just under 3 hours beforehand. However, even if it is not visible from your location, its astrological significance will be reflected throughout the entire world as all eclipses and planetary configurations are.

This type of eclipse (annular) is commonly referred to as a ‘Ring of Fire’ because when it is in its totality, the Sun’s light forms the lit up edges, appearing as a ring. This is due to the Moon being close to its Node and apogee, which is when it is farthest from the Earth. During a Total Eclipse, the Moon is also close to the Node, but instead at its perigee, which is when it is closer to the Earth and appears bigger.

Solar Eclipses are very potent New Moons that generally happen every 6 months. Astrologically this is recognized as a time of powerful changes and new beginnings in specific area(s) of our lives. These changes build up in the 6 weeks before and play out during the following 4-6 month period leading up to the next one. However, this upcoming month is when we will see most of the shifts taking place.

Everyone will have their own unique experience of this energy, and for some people it will be stronger than others. However this plays out for each of us also depends on how it interacts with each of our natal astrology charts (based on exact birth time).

Solar Eclipse and Mercury Retrograde in Virgo

This is the 4th of 5 Solar Eclipses occurring in the polarity of Virgo and Pisces, which started in March 2015.

This is a 2.5 year period in which we are creating powerful changes, with an emphasis on moving toward the Virgo side of the polarity, as this is where the North Node is located during this period. Continue reading →

Recent data has revealed that prescription drugs kill more people in the U.S. than all illicit street drugs combined.

According to the CDC, overdoses on pharmaceutical drugs were responsible for 22,767 deaths in 2013. This was more than half all drug overdose deaths combined, including well-known killers such as heroin and cocaine. What’s more is that drug overdoses passed motor vehicle crashes as the leading cause of death by injury that year, and most of them were young people between the ages of 25 and 54.

Many recent studies, such as this one published in the Journal of Public Policy and Marketing, have revealed that prescription drug abuse is having a profound effect on America’s young people. The CDC called it an ‘epidemic.’

The authors of this particular study – Richard Netemeyer of University of Virginia, Scot Burton of University of Arkansas, Barbara Delaney of the Partnership for Drug Free Kids, and Gina Hijjawi of American Institutes for Research – asked 1000 teenagers about their usage of several drugs, including alcohol, legal and illegal drugs, and tobacco.

They concluded a few main points: One was that anxiety and stress lead to pharmaceutical abuse. Two was that prescription drug abuse increases when alcohol is also abused. Thirdly, prescription drug abuse was more prevalent among teens who abused illegal drugs. Lastly, the desire to be popular, or pressure to be a ‘good kid’ was heavily correlated with the use of pharmaceutical drugs.

The authors write:

“Teens need help before they reach these tipping points for prescription drug abuse. Adults spotting teens with very high levels of anxiety and at least moderate use of other restricted substances should realize that these are students with a high likelihood of prescription abuse.

Male teens with a high need to be popular and teens in general appear to be at exceptional risk. Campaigns must target parents as well, since they clearly underestimate both the physical risks of prescription drugs and the likelihood that their children will abuse these drugs.”

Additionally, reports to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) indicate that about 20% of teenagers try prescription drugs each year. It was found that drugs are acquired from friends and family with legal prescriptions, often without them knowing.

The large portion of teen prescription drug abuse is directly due to the lack of stigma from the FDA that illicit drugs have. “Prescription drugs are seen as blessed by a trusted institution, the FDA, while increasingly aggressive advertising by drug companies simultaneously floods parents and children with messages that these substances are safe, popular, and beneficial,” write the authors.

The New York Times published a damning editorial on this subject, concluding that advertisements for pharmaceuticals are everywhere purporting that every ill has a pill to cure it, leading to indiscriminate prescribing by doctors.

It would seem that organizations leading the way in the battle against prescription drug abuse have a fight on their hands.