fret
verb: to feel or express worry, discontent
noun: A sequence of bars or ridges on the fingerboard of some stringed musical instruments (such as guitar), used for fixing the positions of the fingers to produce the desired notes

I have this memory of being a young girl playing alone in my bedroom.  But I wasn’t playing with dolls, I was playing pretend, and not that I was a ballerina, but that I was locked in my room and pounding on the door desperately trying to escape.  I sat by the door with tears in my eyes, though I could get up and walk out any time I wanted.  There was no lock on my door as a child, so I drew one in with magic marker. The imaginary lock remained there until puberty when I upgraded to an actual locked door.  I remembered this childhood game only recently as I’ve been contemplating my reasons for being an artist.  Whenever I feel my efforts are in vain I take a step back and really ask myself if I am on this journey because I am compelled to from within – or if it is a game for me, a goal I set in my mind that I’m too stubborn to let go of until I reach it. The question keeps coming up, why art, why make it? Does it really help anyone but myself? Continue reading →