Everyone has those days that every living being and all things technological seem hell bent on screwing your day up. If you take a deep breath and reread the first sentence it may occur to you how ego eccentric this is. The entire world is never out to get you, it simply doesn’t have the organization skills to mass that kind of assault. Most people are out there living their files and you get in their way. Or vice versa. Think back to a time you seemed to be really upset with someone, whether a pedestrian, a driver, server or co worker. You may have spilled some water on something important, or walked across the street with poor timing.
You didn’t mean to aggravate any one but your actions led to a serious attitude. Granted you could have been paying more attention but in most instances people are trying their best, especially in public. The ‘offended’ or ‘opposing’ party is choosing to lose its cool right? How is your reaction any different? There are some simple techniques to get the focus off of you and your ego. If you choose to carry it around with you then your ego is bound to get bruised.
Take Time Feel, Acknowledge, and Answer
Too often the social response precedes the actual emotional development. We know that something will make us mad so we gear up before the emotion has even settled in. Someone offends you the first step is to breathe. As you take in and release that breathe notice where the other person is at, in relation to you. Bridge the gap. Be mindful of their feelings while expressing yours.
Distance Yourself From Toxic People
Not everyone is out to get you, but there are a handful that take pleasure out of making your day a little more unpleasant then it has to be. We’re not going to diagnose or dissect the reasons these people are so unproductive. You have better things to do with your time than speculate on the matters of madness for others.
If someone does not apologize for a wrong doing, intentional or otherwise that is a red flag. If someone never fully acknowledges your apologies this too is a red flag. Its safe to assume like to play childish games and make waves. Do your best to avoid them but if they are a customer or boss or someone you can’t avoid readily, then enjoy the waves they make.
Empathy is the ability to relate to another person, as sincerely as possible, on an emotional level. Sympathy is an acknowledgement of someone’s suffering with detachment and normally a little judgement. Someone feeling sorry for me has never helped anything. A person approaching me and simply acknowledging how messed up the situation was has helped.
Feel out the situation, is there a way for you to help this person without offense? Even just a smile and an invitation to vent for a moment is what the person needs to turn their day around. Sincere compassion is the fastest and most efficient way to turn a negative situation positive. I try and keep in mind how hurt I have to feel to snap at others. When I’m like that I usually just need a hug.
Don’t Turn To Others To Validate Your Self Esteem
If you rely entirely on friends and family to keep your self esteem at a healthy level, you leave the door open for others to bring you down. You have to surrendered the keys to your own happiness engine. If you can’t bring a sense of confidence and love to yourself then you end up taking the emotional waves of everyone around you. If we put harmful intention aside, most of the people you interact with don’t know you that well. Even if they had the best intentions, how could they give you what you need?
I’ve found in myself and others that the road to self love is paved in laughter. You got to be able to giggle at how upset you can get over the littlest things, how petty people can get over trying to protect their egos, how easy it is to love someone as amazing as yourself. Culture your own sense of love and appreciation and the waves people try to force on you will seem more of what they are, insignificant.
Take Lots Of Time For Self Care
This one follows the previous point for a reason. Obviously this stuff is getting to you. I’ve met yogi gurus that had road rage. Brilliant advice, impeccable technique and a vast knowledge doesn’t stop them from reacting like people. People get angry, that’s a simple fact. So as you learn to let go of your momentarily raging ego, remember that its a path not a goal.
You had a bad day or didn’t react healthy to a situation? Meditate on it for just ten minutes and see how you feel. Sometimes when I do this I get into a frenzy of emotions. I stand up, dance about shake it off, and stomp my feet to reestablish my bodies sense of now. Go vent to friends, but be careful the focus should be on how you feel and what you could have done better. Bad mouthing someone will only feed more negativity into the situation.