Life can throw unexpected curve balls that seem to break everything. We can make mistakes that land us in hotter water than we imagined was possible. Thankfully, life is about the journey, not the destination. We are made to suffer, so we can learn and grow from the experience. I know that seems like a thin blanket on a cold night, nut maybe the reminder that all things are impermanent is more helpful.
This pain, this unhappiness, this mistake, will not plague you and yours forever, though I know it seems like it could. Below are four suggestions to help you speed up the pace of this ‘lesson’. I don’t presume to know your situation to the ‘t’, but I have suffered before and know it’s no fun. I would recommend that if you follow these suggestions, you do them in the order presented but you know your situation best so you do what you feel is best.
Realize And Acknowledge the Truths In Your Situation
The first step is going to be one of the hardest. No matter what, life continues to march forward at a seemingly cold hearted pace. Acknowledging that here isn’t where you intended to be, is the first step to getting back on your path and to your pace. So breathe and acknowledge some facts. You aren’t where you want to be, but why?
Where would you rather be? What about your current situation is causing you suffering? Is your current situation leading towards a happy and productive resolution or more suffering?
Ask yourself questions about the fundamental aspects of your life. It may help to write them down. Honestly acknowledge that this is your current reality. Without fear name what is wrong with the current picture. Those negative elements are already doing you harm, calling them out by name brings positive focus to them.
Love, Forgive, And Reach Out
Love yourself for realizing you are in a pickle. Not everyone can always realize when they are in a bad place, and this lack of sight prevents them from moving forward. You are taking the bull by the horns, and you should be proud of this fact. If you are in this negative space with the help of others and their careless influence, forgive them. Send them waves of love and forgive them with the deepest love you can muster.
It’s ok if the first round of compassion and kindness isn’t that deep. With emotions bubbling all over the place you’ll do it again, and with each round of forgiving and love, the magnitude will grow and the sincerity more easily projected. This person or institution was ruled by fear or ego when they wronged you. More negativity won’t break the cycle.
Don’t forget to forgive yourself. I always have to actively not beat myself up for making similar mistakes every couple of months. As you compassionately acknowledge life and willingly forgive start to reach out to those you trust and who love you greatly. Even if it seems you’ve got your recovery neatly in your hand, there is no reason to do it alone.
Some would argue that braving a storm by yourself builds character, I doubt that person ever stood in a true monsoon. While you probably could do it alone, if you allow others to help you, everything associated will benefit and recover faster.
Come Back To The Present
In acknowledging and forgiving you probably started to slide into the past. You also, very well started to deviate to the expected and feared future. You don’t know what the future holds for you, no matter how clever or well informed you are. Your expectations will be direct answers to your current fears and plight.
Do you really want your future to be dealing only with negativity? YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THAT. Don’t let the past continue to hurt you either. Acknowledge what happened, forgive, respect and love. Then release. Back in the present you have your work cut out for you. Gather your wits and support team.
Remove And Replace
In the present moment, start understanding what is causing you harm or preventing you from doing necessary tasks. Some elements of life aren’t actively negative but can hold up resources better suited for the task at hand. Remove what doesn’t need to be in your life or anything that is causing you pain. If your unsure at any point in time confer with your support group.