Many us of experience what we call a ‘midlife crisis’. What does this really mean? For a lot of people, it means they have ignored their internal guidance system for so long, and that built up pressure now has to release. If you’ve been denying, lying and ignoring your inner desires, these can manifest as a ‘midlife crisis.’
This can look like feeling lost, drastic shifting of desires and a radical change in life style. If you’ve been unhappy with your partner, are suppressing sexual energies or have been keeping something to yourself for a long time – it is going to come to surface.
A typical midlife-crisis involves the following phases:
* The first phase is called the state of denial. People withdraw from family life and worry a lot in this phase.
* The second phase is when people become restless and irritable.
* The bombshell is dropped in the next phase of truth, and confrontation is met. Sometimes a relapse occurs to the phase of anger.
* Depression is the next phase, with all the negative emotions that belong with it. Nothing makes sense.
*People begin to fathom what has happened and what the consequences are in the phase of reflection.
* The phase of acceptance entails the repentance of people, in which one evaluates the previous phases and re-starts one’s life.
It’s important to be there for your partner if they are going through this, but beware of a downward spiral. Choose love over pain. This can only be when two people stop running away from themselves, and take all the time to say what is needed for a new path to develop.
First you must clean out the ‘old baggage’. Give each other time and space to work on your own part of the grief, and keep in mind what for each of you is doing this. Be mature enough to look at yourself clearly.
It is important to be able to say ‘Im sorry’ and know when to say ‘I’ve handled this the wrong way’ or ‘I see I’ve hurt you very much’. These are all examples of emotional maturity.
Emotional immaturity is: Making the other person feel or think that everything is their fault. Not being able to say ‘I’m sorry’ for your own behavior. Walking away from confrontations. Walking away from emotions. Choosing the seemingly easy road and cheating when things get tough. It is not being able to reflect on self and own behavior after being repeatedly talked to concerning your midlife-crisis and still running from your situation.
The inability to comfort an emotional person, not being able to empathize with other people’s emotions, not taking responsibility for your relationships and placing the responsibility on the other person can also be the start of a midlife crisis. It is buried emotions finally coming to the surface.
Being in love can feel like hate, hate can feel like love. Jealousy can look like fear and all emotional experiences can be ‘disturbed’.
An important thing to remember is to ground yourself. Keep everything as calm as possible. Don’t create excesses, go back to the basics to make them solid. Meditate and come home to yourself. Eat healthy and live healthy (practice yoga, take supplements and superfoods, for example).
Go to bed early and get up early. Focus on work and your home life and undertake energizing, fun things with your friends.
Be open, be emotional, and show what is happening inside of you. Don’t run away when things get overwhelming and nip those difficult conversations in the butt. Be mature, constructive and emotionally understanding.
When there is truly a will, there is truly a way to work on yourself. And in this clarity, your partner will provide time and space to heal yourself to become whole again.
It takes two to tango.
About the author:
Leda is a writer, speaker, journalist, singer, and Coach of the New Energy. She specializes in Add/HSP, twinsoul- and soulmate relationships, Karma cleansing, Regression-therapy, Personalized Meditations. She is an entrepreneur to guide towards a new global shift.
She tries to re-connect you with your inner voice and Unique Essence of Self-Mastery and Self-Love. So called ‘ New Energy;- As she calls her mission. Her website can be found at: