Attunement: The Secret to A Good Relationship

To attune is to be or bring into harmony.  On an emotional level, it is a feeling of being “at one” with something.  To conceptualize of attunement, you need to imagine sitting in your car and using your fingers to adjust the radio dial.Screen Shot 2016-07-23 at 11.21.26 AM

Assuming that you want to hear the music being played at a specific frequency, such as 98.2 FM, you need to adjust the radio dial so the radio in your car is tuned to 98.2 FM.  As a result, you will hear the music.  In other words, your own radio dial in your car needs to be brought into harmony with or become one with the radio channel you want to receive in order to hear that radio channel.

Attunement doesn’t stop with radio frequencies though.  Ultimately everything in the universe is made up of energy that vibrates.  Everything in existence has a unique frequency and vibration, including people.  To perceive the other person and to understand them,  we need to attune to their special frequency.

That attunement naturally gives rise to empathy.  It allows you to be able to feel or imagine the other person’s emotional experience and to understand what they are feeling .  This in turn is what allows you to know what to do in any given situation to end conflict or improve a situation or to assist someone.

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“Imagining how you would feel in another person’s shoes is a perfect thing to do up until the point where you are forgetting that you stepping into their shoes with all of your perspective, is not you getting out of your egocentric bubble and into their shoes, it’s you taking your egocentric bubble into their shoes.”